Over the years, I have met with and counseled more teens than I can remember on depression, anxiety, and suicidal thoughts or attempts. The weight of those counseling sessions was always heavier for me than others. Most sessions left me with my head in my hands trying to figure out how we got in this place. How did we get here?
I will never forget the night. It was the night before we tore down a back wall of our student facility for renovation needs. That night we were talking about a phrase called, Stockholm Syndrom. At the end of the service, we encouraged students to write on the wall the things that were holding them captive. The things that they kept running to but wanted to be set free from. Little did I know, the weight of the words that would be written.
I remember sitting there with my head in my hands wondering how we got here. It seemed that every third note was about suicide, anxiety, depression or despair. The troublesome fact was, most parents had little to no idea. From my experience, most teens don’t tell their parents about their feelings or thoughts as it pertains to this topic until they are much older or it’s too late.
Teen anxiety has been on the rise since 2012. In 2015, about 3 million teens ages 12 to 17 had had at least one major depressive episode in the past year, according to the Department of Health and Human Services. More than 2 million reports experiencing depression that impairs their daily function. About 30% of girls and 20% of boys–totaling 6.3 million teens–have had an anxiety disorder, according to data from the National Institute of Mental Health (times magazine). These stats are more than likely on the low end as most teens don’t express their need for help. A 2015 report from the Child Mind Institute found that only about 20% of young people with a diagnosable anxiety disorder get treatment.
The reality is that our kids are growing up in a world that is very different than the world that we grew up in. They will never know a time where terrorist attacks, church shoots, school shootings are not the unfortunate norm. They are growing up in a digital world where they are constantly comparing themselves to everyone around the world in the blink of an eye. Not to mention the unrealistic pressures and standards that are placed on our kids by the educational system. To be successful you must do x, y and z.
So what’s the solution? What can we do as a generation to give hope to the next generation? I don’t have the complete answer yet, but I believe it begins with teaching our children when they are young about the sovereignty of God. Showing them that there is a God that loves them beyond their wildest imagination (John 3:16) and that He can be trusted no matter what happens in life
Isn’t it strange that our kids have no trouble believing that a fat man in a red suit can slide down a small chimney and give all kids in the world gifts in one night? What would happen if we invested the same amount of energy, from childhood into showing them why they can trust God with the circumstances of their life. When their life is the easiest begin teaching them about the sovereignty and provision of our the heavenly Father.
“Therefore do not be anxious, saying, ‘What shall we eat?’ or ‘What shall we drink?’ or ‘What shall we wear?’ For the Gentiles seek after all these things, and your heavenly Father knows that you need them all.” (Matthew 6:31-32).
Over the next several wks, I will be posting several times about ways to fight anxiety, worry, fear with trusting God. Let me know if this is something that you struggle with and if there is a particular area that you would like for me to speak to.
Options: There are many great options to choose from.
- ParentCue App: We will sometimes use the Parent Cue App because it helps reinforce the truths that kids our children are learning in their small group’s ar church. Check it out HERE!
- Bible App: The Bible App by Life Church has some incredible family devotions for all ages. Check it out HERE!
- A Good Children’s Bible: Jesus the Story Book Bible is a great tool for Parents. Check it out HERE! /
2.Be Involved in a Gospel-Centered Church that Values Your Family. As parents, Kisah and I are forever grateful for our son’s small group leaders. No matter what kind of week they had at school, their small group leader’s remind them that they are loved beyond their wildest imagination. A gospel-centered church is essential in helping children rightly understand God’s love and His might.
3. Memorize Scripture Together. The more our children know about God’s word, the more they will trust Him. Here are a few verses that are helpful to memorize.
- 1 John 1:9: If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness.
- Psalm 33:4: For the word of the Lord is right and true; he is faithful in all he does.
- 1Chronicles 16:11: Look to the Lord and his strength; seek his face always.
- Isaiah 41:10: So do not fear, for I am with you. do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.
4. Model Scripture. The more our children see us as parents keep our promises, the greater their potential will be to trust God’s promises. Try making some simple promises to your children that you can easily fulfill. Promise to buy them ice cream (for no reason) or take them on a bike ride. Whatever promises you make, be sure to follow through and remind them that just like you kept your promise so does God.
5. Do Something Fun. Set aside 15-30 minutes to play a fun game or activity that encourages children to trust God. Here are a few ideas: play the Blind Walk game or Bat and Moth game. At the end of the games discuss why it’s important to listen to God. Another fun activity is to read the story of Noah (Gen. 7-9) together. Spread out a piece of butcher paper or cardboard and draw a huge rainbow. As you are drawing have someone in your family tell a story of when they saw a rainbow. Hang the picture up as a reminder that becauseGod keeps His promises we can trust Him.
By: Jake Ferguson
Coaching has as many styles as there are coaches. If the old cliché, “There is more than one way to skin a cat,” has any truth; it has truth in coaching. It is recognized that coaches will lead and mentor LifeGroup Leaders according to personality, life experience, and unique relationships with God. The relationships that the coach builds over time with their Leaders and Hosts will pave a way for spiritual growth and biblical fellowship.
What is a Coach and what does a Coach do? In short, a coach is a leader whose intentional investment in the lives of other leaders encourages them to do and be better; better not just in their leadership role…but better, period. A Coach calls out the best in a leader. The relationship between Coach and leader is the engine that God uses to drive the leader to reach their God given purposes.
A coaching relationship is successful when the coach invests in the leader in such a way that the leader feels cared for and able to accomplish the task. Four things that a Coach must keep in mind when mentoring a LifeGroup Leader and Host:
- They EQUIP the leader and host
2. They SERVE the leader and host
3. They SHEPHERD those under their care
4. And they further RECRUIT more leaders and hosts through relational development
By: Megan Saurman
Leading, mentoring and coaching. All these words seem to carry the same similar theme… moving people in a direction, aiming to reach a goal, implementing wisdom to help another person or group be successful. How each of these words accomplish that end result though is very unique.
If you are praying about what role is right for you and if you can be more than one of these in the same season lets explore their differences and the way each one works in its own method.
You can absolutely be all of these at the same time, you can be a LifeGroup Leader and a LifeGroup Coach simultaneously – the key is to know how much you can take on and still be highly effective, and to pray about who in your sphere of influence needs you to be which role in their life.
Leading a LifeGroup means you provide a clear vision for your LifeGroup. You are growing a certain amount of people in God’s word, towards Next Steps in their faith. Your main priority is to love them where they are at, and help them be successful in reaching new levels in their faith and relationship with God. Cover them with support, and help them stay focused while their relationship with God is becoming deeper and more consistent.
Mentoring within a LifeGroup, which is part of the LifeGroup Leader’s role, is when you identify someone within your LifeGroup who has potential and interest in being a leader and you begin raising them up by not only leading them but also sharing your wisdom, life experiences, and your personal methods of growing closer to God and in God’s word. Intentionally take them along side you and tell them how you have been taught, share with them the positives and negatives of your own life experiences, and how to start being leaders themselves by slowly allowing them to participate in co leading with you.
Coaching a LifeGroup is a separate dynamic all together. The reason you can be a Coach and a LifeGroup Leader at the same time is because you will be coaching a different LifeGroup than the one you are leading. Coaching a LifeGroup means your role will be a listening ear to other LifeGroup Leaders and you will ask them a series of questions that draw an answer from within them, which will teach them to recount their observations, be objectionable about situations and learn to problem solve using the wisdom they themselves have learned. Yes, there be occasional times that you will have to offer your own advice, opinion, and fresh ideas to the situation.The best way to effectively coach is to be a sound board for the LifeGroup Leader you have been placed with, and to draw answers out of them so they learn to be a more effective leader who raises up more effective leaders.
By: Megan Saurman
- LifeGroup Leaders need to be refreshed on the vision and calling of being a Leader. Honestly, not all days do we as Leaders wake up motivated, not weighed down by life’s circumstances, ready to enthusiastically pour into other people. Coaches are meant to be there when we feel off track to help us continue to press on towards growing others, bring to mind why we live in biblical community, and to pray for us when our lives need some encouragement. Their enthusiasm is contagious on the days we need it most.
- Coaches have the playbook. Sometimes even as a Leader you may run into a situation within your LifeGroup where you could use a second opinion, a fresh set of eyes, and a pipeline to church leadership. Coaches are there for you to run situations by, to be confidential and objectionable in tough situations, and to share wisdom on how to handle things that may be out of your comfort zone, they also know when it’s time for church leadership to be advised.
- The main priority for a Coach is you. They care about how you are spiritually growing, if you are taking enough Sabbath rest time, they care if you are successful as a LifeGroup Leader, if you have victories throughout the week, and they want to pray for you when struggles arise. Their calling as a Coach isn’t a job, its not a task, you are not on their to-do list, you are their ministry, and they want nothing less than to bless you.