Like almost every church, we sometimes struggle with having enough volunteers. This is partially due to our culture. Jacksonville, NC is home to the Marine Corps base, Camp Lejeune. I love this city and the unique culture it offers. There are also some challenges. Every 3 years or so, the Marine Corps will most likely move a family to another city. This is great for the Marine Corps but hurts your volunteer structure. Every year our volunteer system will go through a complete turn over.
Like most churches we have asked the question, should we require parents to serve? After all, it makes sense. God called you to kids ministry when you had kids, so welcome to the team. In theory, this would solve our volunteer shortage issue (for a short time). But is this the most healthy decision? Should we make it a requirement?
For us, the answer is no. Here are a few reasons why we do not make volunteering in our family ministry a requirement for parents.
ROBS THE JOY: Once you make something a requirement it robs the joy of the sacrifice. Forcing someone to volunteer robs the joy, excitement and fun factor of being a volunteer. As leaders, it’s important to remember that our goal is not to fill every volunteer slot. Rather it’S to cultivate a team of committed believers who desire to serve.
PITY vs PASSION: In my experience, rarely do volunteers who feel bad/pity for the ministry turn into long term volunteers. They stand in to fill a gap for a short time, but then they pursue what their true passion is. I would rather start with those who are passionate about kids/student ministry.
SOME PARENTS NEED A BREAK: Many of our moms have been taking care of 3 kids while daddy is deployed. Sometimes,the worst thing for that mom is to serve in a preschool room. Sometimes, parents need a break. We still encourage them to serve in some capacity, but volunteering in family ministry is not always right for everyone at that time. I am okay with that.
Instead of making volunteering a requirement for parents, we look for passionate Godly leaders (teenagers and adults) who love the next generation. We encourage parents to serve where their kids play, not mandate it. In the end, not all parents will make the best volunteers in one specific area. If you give them the freedom to serve where God leads, I think you will see an increase in volunteer retention.
I would love to hear your thoughts. What is your churches policy on parents serving?
Requiring parents to volunteer could easily deprive unchurched children/teens of the opportunity to learn of Christ’s love. We used to be the parents who attended from time-to-time, but more out of duty to my upbringing and love for my Dad (I am a Methodist PK).
It was hard enough for us to motivate and enroll our children in camp or other church activities while they were growing up as we moved with the military. Had we been required to volunteer on top of that, our two children would have had less contact with God-fearing adults.
Now I am saved and an active member of First Baptist. God is visibly working in my husband’s life as well. He was raised Catholic with mandatory volunteerism. He now willingly volunteers every week at Northside and attends a Life Group with me. We will celebrate our 40th anniversary this August and this is the FIRST time he has ever willingly volunteered!
Through us and the members of First Baptist, God is reaching out to our oldest child and our grandsons. Our younger child is happily active in her church.
I hope this explains why, at least in our life, requiring parents to be involved is a short-term solution here on earth. It is not a viable long-term solution for the salvation of those we need to reach.
Thanks for sharing your story!
Lenny, I’m with you. I don’t like the idea of requiring parents to serve. I understand some leaders walk into a situation like that or some are in such dire need they have to do something. But, in my opinion, it’s a temporary solution at most until a team can be built up.
Your reasons capture why I don’t like it. I always wondered how that looks to new families as well. I imagine most churches do ask parents until they’ve been attending for some time, but it still doesn’t sit well with me.
Thanks Nick!
If all parents were required I believe their would be a lot of children that would not have the opportunity to be involved. Some parents like you said need a break. Even if they are not military. If I had to volunteer I would but when you are forced to do something you don’t always put your 100% into it.
I absolutely love FBCJAX and I am glad that you all made the decision you allow us y9 volunteer when we are ready.